Lessons on Love

Before you can love anyone, you need to know who you are and whose you are.  Know your strengths and weaknesses and be honest with your self-assessment.   Don’t give your love away too freely.  Too many times people give their love away before they really know the person.  When giving love, it should be reciprocated.  Love does not take the form of material things—it comes from the heart. 

There is conditional love and then there is unconditional love.  Family love is unconditional.  No matter what, you have to love your family members even though sometimes you may hate what they do.  Always be ready to forgive, but not necessarily to forget.  With real love, you have to be willing to forgive.

Terri D.

Age:  55

Retired Senior Executive

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When we talk about types of love, self-love has to be close to the top of the list.  If you are not happy with yourself, you won’t invite the right people into your life.  It is important that you love yourself first.  Otherwise, the love you attract may not be the love you are seeking.   Another person can’t make you whole or make you a complete person.  They should be a compliment to who you are.   Hopefully, the two of you will fit as two puzzle pieces fit together.

Allow people to show you who they are.  When they show you who they are, believe what you see.   As women, we are natural nurturers.  However, we can’t make another person into what we want them to be.

Once the honeymoon phase is over in a relationship, it’s over.  You can’t try to change a person.  If he stares at other women while you are out together, that is just who he is.   He’s not going to change that about himself.  Ask yourself if you can live with that.  What you see is what you get.  Learn to listen.

Dyane B.

Age:  56

Director of Internship Programs

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Many people are searching for love.  You have to know God’s love and love yourself before you can really love anybody else.  I once heard a pastor say that you need to get to know the person through the four seasons.  Get to know their changing moods.  Find out if they have the same values.  People don’t always change. 

Know the status of your relationships at all times.  If you’re not sure where the relationship is going, just ask.

Lena A.

Age:  57

Educator

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It doesn’t matter how it looks, feels, is taught or experienced.  Love is a force that never fails.  This wasn’t a concept that I always accepted.  There were some relationships that appeared dark and hopeless and I reasoned that nothing would make it work.  Now I’m learning that no matter how it seems intellectually, I haven’t learned enough about loving.  Love always overcomes darkness.  Love never fails. 

Jan S.

Age:  58

Supervising Attorney 

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In order for your relationship to last, honesty and communication is a must.  Learn to talk about whatever is going on in the relationship.  Don’t hold any grudges because anger only increases negativity and can have a domino effect.  Respect each other’s feeling and opinions.  Sometimes you are going to have to compromise.

Betty S.

Age:  59

Customer Service Representative

Office Politics (Contemporary Fiction)
Available Now!

     “Good morning, heifers,” sang Jesse Smith as he walked past Tia Wilson, Mina Taylor and Dottie Wallace’s desks in the open office area.  They immediately diverted their attention to him and had fierce scowls on their faces.
     “Look, Jesse,” said Mina.  “I’m going to say this one last time.  Don’t greet us like that.  If you can’t say good morning like you have some sense, just keep walking by this area.  You keep forgetting that I’m not one of your friends.  You and I just happen to work together at the same location.  You’re not going to get away with speaking to me or anybody else here like that for that matter. You got that?” 
     Mina’s intense stare at Jesse was meant to scare him.  He placed his hand over his mouth while faking a shocked look.  Mina was extremely wise and mature for her twenty-three years.  Her model-like appearance was telling.  Her cocoa brown skin was flawless and her attractive facial features garnered her wanted and unwanted attention.  Her five feet, ten inch frame added to the observer’s attention.  Her short pixie haircut framed her face perfectly.
     Dottie stared silently.  She was not one to get involved in anybody’s word wars.  She was happy that Mina had said what she just could not muster up the courage to say.  Jesse had been getting on her nerves as well, but it appeared that he was Irene’s golden child and could do no wrong.  Tia stared as if she was about to get ready to settle in to watch a street fight.
     Jesse huffed, “I truly now know how you got your name Miss Mean-a.”  Jesse put emphasis on the mean part.  “Girl, you know that I’m just having a little fun on a Friday morning.  You need to loosen up.  Come go clubbing at Timeless with me tonight.  You can be my date.  You know I won’t touch you.  No offense, but you just ain’t my type.”  Jesse’s comment made Dottie chuckle to herself.  “I’m sure I can find my next boyfriend there,” Jesse continued.  He stood in front of Mina with his hands on his hips in what she labeled as his choir uniform because occasionally he wore jet black pants and a heavily starched, white shirt to work.
     “Jesse, I don’t have the time or the patience to deal with you today.  Why can’t you just come to work, do your job and then go home?  This is not your personal playground.  I’m surprised Irene has not fired you by now.”
     “That heifer needs me.  She wouldn’t dare.  Who else is gonna run the payroll system and pay these folks that need their money?  Baby girl, I am h-o-t,” boasted Jesse.  He then stuck out his tongue, touched it with his index finger for a brief second and put the same finger on his right buttock and made a sizzling sound.  Mina shook her head in disgust as Dottie and Tia continued to observe without saying a word.
     Jesse then sauntered his way to his office to Mina, Tia and Dottie’s relief.  The only reason Irene had given him an office was to protect employee information and their privacy.  His job as the payroll specialist at Valuable Temps was the first job he had maintained for at least three years out of his thirty-two.  He frequently changed jobs.  Sometimes it wasn’t a job fit, other times, he was bored and yet other times he was fired.  He had been fired for everything from having a bad attitude to sexually harassing his male co-workers.  He amazed himself that he never had a problem finding his next job.  He figured that as long as he kept his computer skills up to par, he would always have steady employment.
     Mina swiveled her chair to face Dottie.  “I can’t stand that fool.  I don’t know how much longer I can take his snobbish attitude and this painful place.  Irene doesn’t give a damn about how he wreaks havoc around here.  For some reason, she thinks he walks on water.  The only reason I’m at this place is to get some HR experience under my belt.  You can bank on it that I’m not working here for any extended period of time.  How have you managed to stay here so long, Dottie?”
     “Mina, it’s just a job,” replied Dottie.  “I’ve seen them come and go in my ten years here.  It’s like a revolving door.  I’m middle aged.  It’s not the same for me.  I can’t afford to keep changing jobs.  Besides, I just don’t have the energy to do it.  Henry and I are comfortable.  Of course we could use more money, but we get along just fine.”
      “Dottie, just because you’re over fifty doesn’t mean you’re dead.  You could probably open your own staffing agency.  You do the staffing job with your eyes closed,” complimented Mina.
     Dottie smiled.  It was one of a few compliments she had received in recent memory.  Years of a sedentary job and lifestyle had taken its toll on her short, dumpy frame.  Her children were grown and it was just she and her husband, Henry.  Henry was a homebody and had worked at Sparrows Point as a steelworker for over thirty years.  They had lived in Dundalk in Baltimore County since they got married thirty-two years ago.  Dottie had a sweet demeanor and was very impressed with Mina’s drive to succeed.  If she had to do it all over again, she was sure she would have taken Mina’s lead.
     “Maybe if it wasn’t for that non-compete clause in the contract we signed when we came on board and my age, I probably would consider it.  If I leave here, I can’t work for any of Irene’s competitors for a minimum of six months.”
     “You don’t give yourself enough credit.  Anybody who has worked for the likes of Irene for as long as you have deserves a gold star and then some.  It’s been a long six months here already.  I want to stay for at least a year before I move on to something else.  My student loans are preventing me from having the type of life style I deserve,” Mina laughed.
      “Hon, you go right ahead.  I’m staying right here until she throws me out.  Our staffing jobs are considered safe.  In the past four years, we’ve replaced the marketing coordinator position five times.  Serena seems to be hanging in there.”
     “Don’t be fooled by the hype, Dottie.  I talk to Serena on the regular.  Trust me, she ain’t that happy.  At least she has a second income in her household.  If I leave, I am stuck.”
     “I haven’t seen Serena this morning.  Did she come in yet?  Most times she’s here way before we come in,” said Dottie.
     “She may be out trying to get some business,” surmised Mina.
     Tia finally spoke up.  “Serena got fired this morning.”
     Mina and Dottie stared at Tia in disbelief.
     “I typed up her severance papers yesterday.  Irene let her go because she wasn’t bringing in enough new clients,” added Tia.  Dottie and Mina often forgot that Tia was amongst them because of her quiet demeanor.  She only spoke when she was spoken to.  Her shyness had a tendency to keep her out of trouble since she hardly ever opened her mouth to say anything.  She was a plain looking, petite, twenty-two year old with a bit of potential.  Her French vanilla skin tone and naturally curly, dark auburn hair told of her mixed racial heritage.   She was a part-time evening student at the Baltimore City Community College studying business administration and had an active three-year old girl.
     A sudden quiet covered the office as Irene entered the suite.  “No candidates today?” she asked.  The trio noted that once again Irene didn’t bother to say good morning to them. 
     “I have five scheduled for today,” said Dottie proudly.
     “I have one this morning and three in the afternoon,” remarked Mina.
     “That’s good news.  I like to hear that we’re pulling the candidates in even if we aren’t getting that much new business.  Let’s try to keep our existing clients happy.  Oh by the way, Serena is no longer with us,” said Irene coolly.  “I’ll be looking for her replacement real soon.”  With her staunch comment, Irene swiftly headed to her office.  Mina and Dottie looked at each other and waited until Irene reached her office fifty feet away before conversing again.
     “Damn.  Another Irene victim down for the count,” said Mina with seriousness and concern in her voice.  “Unbelievable.  I swear if Irene ever turned up missing, there would be a long list of suspects.  The police wouldn’t know where to begin to look for the culprit.”
     Tia turned her attention to the ringing telephone and answered. 
     Dottie winced.  “It was probably just a matter of time.  We haven’t had many new clients in months.  I know Serena was trying hard, but Irene is relentless when it comes to new clients.  She was really smart.  I’m sure it won’t take a long time for her to find something else.  I don’t know about you Mina, but I need to get back to work.  I’ve dodged Irene’s bullets for ten years.  I don’t want to be her next victim.”
     On that note, the two women turned their attention back to their desks, reviewed their calendars and prepared for the day’s activities.  To them, the best thing about working at Valuable Temps was that it was Friday and a payday. 


Cinnamon Girl Blues (Contemporary Fiction)
Available Now!

     During the ride back to Sasha’s house, Regina and Sasha talked more in depth about Sasha’s recent heartache involving Jordan. 
     “Sash, I am worried about you.  You just have not been yourself lately.  Is there anything else bothering you?” Regina asked. 
     Sasha took in a deep breath and paused.  She said tearfully, “Gina, you know this time of year has traditionally been hard for me.  This time of year just reminds me of how very pathetic my life is right now.  You’re right.  My good job won’t ever love me back.  I stopped going to church for no reason at all.  It used to be that a sermon from Reverend Isaacs could get me through the week until the next Sunday.  I stay at work late just to delay the fact that I go home to an empty house.  I wake up alone, I go to bed alone, and most times I eat alone.  I don’t know how much of this solitary confinement I can take.  Gina, I am so tired of being alone.” 
     Gina pulled her white Grand Jeep Cherokee over to the right into the parking lot of the Seven-Eleven, put the vehicle in park and turned off the radio. 
     Gina did her best to console, Sasha.  “Look sweetie, I know how hard this time of the year is for you.  You have lots of people who love you and care about you and your well being.  You’ve got to stop feeling so sorry for yourself.  How many times have I told you that having a man won’t make you a better person?  Trust me, I know.”  Regina handed her some Kleenex from the glove compartment to wipe her tear-streaked face. 
     “Sure, Keith gets on my nerves at times.  Sometimes I just want to sell him to the highest bidder.”  Regina’s comment brought a brief smile to Sasha’s face.  “My suggestion is to work on you.  How about going to the gym, doing some community work, or volunteering at a hospital?  Just don’t overwork yourself at work.  You need some balance in your life.  If something happened to you, they would express their condolences to your parents and then next day they’d be looking for your replacement.” 
    “You’re right, Gina.  I know I should be doing these things, but it is easier said than done.  I know I need to focus.”  Sasha’s sobs became a little less noticeable. 
     “I’ll even go to the gym with you.  That will give Keith more time to spend with the twins and I can keep my girlish figure,” Regina laughed.  “Who knows, I might get flexible enough to show him some new tricks.” 
     “Gina, I understand what you are saying.  Trust me, I do, but you have no idea how hard it is out here.”
       "All I am saying is to be patient.  When you least expect it, expect it.  Sometimes you have to go with the flow.  Don’t look at this time in your life as a valley.  Look at it as a time when you can be good to yourself as well as others.  Take the energy from dwelling on your loneliness and place it on something where you can perhaps make a difference.  I’m sure there are some young girls who would love to have you as a mentor.  And weren’t you going to do some redecorating?  Sasha, stop feeling so sorry for yourself.  Do you know how many women would love to be in your shoes?  In fact, you are looking at one.  Sometimes I long for the days when I was single and free and didn’t have a care in the world.  After spending eight hours in that crazy office, I have another job waiting for me at home.  Sometimes I just want to tell Keith and the kids to stop calling my name,” Regina laughed.  

     “I find that hard to believe,” said Sasha.  

     “Believe it, it’s true.  I get tired of stepping over toys, telling people what to do more than three times, and negotiating for the simplest of decisions.  Do you know what it’s like to try to reason with children?” 
     Regina and Sasha shared another brief chuckle.  Sasha was able to see a hint of the downside of the other side of life she longed for—to be a wife and mother. 
     “You’ve provided some insight on how the other half lives.  In a way, I wish I were in your shoes.” 
     “I guess I should be thankful for that,” replied Sasha.
     After Regina felt she had sufficiently calmed Sasha, she backed out of the parking space and headed for the parking lot’s exit to take Sasha home.  She suggested that Sasha come to her house to stay overnight then go home in the morning.  Sasha politely declined because she did not want to intrude on her friend.   Secondly, she preferred the comfort of her own home.  

     After seeing that Sasha had made it into her house safely, she sped off to head home.  After stopping at the traffic light, she grabbed her cellular phone from her purse and hit the speed dial button for home.  

     “Hello, Mrs. Webster,” Keith answered. 
     “Hey, baby,” Regina swooned.  “I’m on my way home.  Are the kids asleep?”  

     “Finally.  They were not too happy about going to bed without kissing their Mommy goodnight.  I finally had to threaten to punish them.  I was in no mood to negotiate tonight.” 
     Regina sighed, “I’ll make it up to them in the morning.”  

     “Well, what about me?  Are you going to make things up to me tonight?”  

     “Hmmm.  I don’t see why not, baby.  I know you have been pulling double duty these days.  It’s the least I can do for you,” Regina grinned. 
      “Okay, babe.  Drive safely.  I don’t want you driving too fast, but I got some good loving waiting just for you.” 
     As Regina disconnected the cellular phone, she smiled and thought to herself, I really am blessed.